


and i'd do it again if you asked

by fallingyoonjin



Category: Guns N' Roses
Genre: Canon Compliant, M/M, just slash and his inner monologue, set in the 90's i guess, when their relationship was already rocky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:55:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26821006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fallingyoonjin/pseuds/fallingyoonjin
Summary: sometimes, slash wonders what it would be like if he had fallen in love with a nice girl. if he would be happily married, living in a small house with a picket fence with his wife. maybe they’d even have kids. he could’ve had that with renée, he guesses, if he had stayed with her.
Relationships: Axl Rose/Slash | Saul Hudson
Comments: 3
Kudos: 24





	and i'd do it again if you asked

**Author's Note:**

> having the slaxl feels again and felt compelled to write something for them. i tried to portray axl as in character as i could, so yeah, he's not very emotionally healthy and in tune with his feelings here. too bad for slash, they're soulmates and stuck with each other lmfao.

sometimes, slash wonders what it would be like if he had fallen in love with a nice girl. if he would be happily married, living in a small house with a picket fence with his wife. maybe they’d even have kids. he could’ve had that with renée, he guesses, if he had stayed with her.

he looks up from his guitar, where he’d been playing around with some melodies that may or may not someday be a part of a new album. these days he never knows what feedback he’ll get when he shows axl his drafts.

axl. slash sighs and lets his fingers still. they’d fought again. that seems to be the only thing they do nowadays. ‘fighting’ is a term used loosely. their fights are one-sided, always instigated by axl. the singer had taken offense to something slash had said a couple of days ago, he doesn’t even really know what he’d said that set him off so badly. regardless, axl had stormed out in a way so characteristic for him, doors banging and red hair flaming after him.

it was so damn exhausting sometimes to love axl. when he was in his good moods, he was so full of affection and happiness, coming to practice early, mouth working overtime in his excitement as he talked about new song ideas. in those days the band really felt like family, all of them coming together to write songs and messing around like they used to years ago, before axl’s mental health and steven’s addiction took a dive for the worse.

but lately, the bad days seemed to overwhelm the good ones. days when axl was fidgety and flighty, looking like a caged animal and unleashing his pent-up aggression on whoever was unfortunate enough to be available. slash doesn’t understand it, doesn’t understand _him._ he wants to understand, wants to know why axl is so unhappy, so volatile, wants to make him _happy_ , but he can’t do that when axl won’t even talk to him. it’s routine at this point. slash says something that pisses axl off, he takes a dramatic exit, gives the cold shoulder to slash for days, taking every opportunity to be petty. and then, after he’s done being a fucking drama queen, comes back like nothing happened, and it’s never talked about again.

slash has tried to ask him, gently attempted to get axl to open up and explain, but then that sets him off all over again, so slash has just decided to give up and let axl live in his denial.

he puts his guitar away and falls back onto the bed. as he stares at the ceiling, he wonders again if he should have just never approached axl all those years ago, when he’d first seen him and izzy perform. he knows, even as he entertains the idea, that he’s not strong enough to stay away, no matter how destructive axl is.

axl has always been the center of everything, at least to slash. center of the band and center of his life. axl is dangerous, ready to ruin everything he gets his hands on, and slash knows it, felt it from the moment they first locked eyes. maybe that’s his allure, maybe it’s why slash can’t stay away. it’s like he’s pulled in by a magnet while axl violently pushes him away. even if he wanted, he couldn’t leave.

he doesn’t. want to leave, that is. axl has been his for years now, and while he’s an insufferable pain in the ass who’s never learned to properly handle his emotions, slash has also gotten to know him on a deeper level. he knows his vulnerabilities, his ambitions and goals, his past and his future, his good and his bad sides. he’s so fucking in love with axl rose and even though it’s rocky and frustrating and downright unhealthy at times, when slash has axl between his arms, snoring softly and gripping his bicep like he’s afraid he’ll be left even in his sleep, it’s worth it. it’s so fucking worth it, and if slash had the choice, he wouldn’t change a thing.

there’s a knock on his door. he doesn’t say anything, because he knows who it is and he knows what’s going to happen next. the door creaks open and axl stands there, silent and sharp eyes boring into slash’s softer ones. and slash shifts, a move that could be intepreted as anything, but axl gets it. as he climbs in next to slash, the guitarist knows that even though he could have had a loving wife and picket fences and damn barbeques with neighbors, he’d throw all of them away without hesitation just for one night with axl.


End file.
